It seems like a quaint idea these days, but the values we live by are the foundation of our overall health.
When those values are life-supporting and inclusive, we have peace of mind.
When they become more selectively applied our minds are fragmented by the complex bookkeeping of who is included or excluded from our love and compassion along with the sheer energetic drain of living in fear and anger.
Our collective minds make up a society, and the values of a society determine the foundation of our lived experience.
More than ever, we seem to be unclear about our values or pay only lip service to them then do whatever we want anyway in our day to day lives.
This disconnect from our spiritual and psychological foundation leads to selfish and impulsive decisions that undermine our mental health and pull at the strands of our social fabric. It’s also the fertile soil of totalitarianism.
Is my view of happiness really bringing me happiness?
Tribalism, which is rooted in fear, seems to have overtaken life-affirming values as a primary motivation. Cooperation on any scale isn’t possible unless we can see some common ground with others, and our survival depends on it.
As a relevant example, NATO and the European project previously functioned as a kind of religion – or exclusive clubs, if you prefer. Either way, they are tribal entities and in recent years these powerful institutions – and many others like them – have increasingly begun to resemble cults in which diverse opinions are not allowed and their member states must regularly undertake commitments that are not only far from the best interests of their people, they are far from what most people really want.
If the values of the people are systematically ignored by powerful leaders, we not only suffer mental stress as individuals due to consciously or unconsciously feeling trapped in a hostile system, but our collective stress becomes unbearable, too.
Collectively we flatter ourselves by believing we value democracy, yet we are shown daily that this is not how we live. To point this out is to be disruptive, divisive, dangerous – to the extent that such unwelcome dissent barely registers because of the censorship that keeps it at bay.
Cults require compliance; that can only be achieved through controlling or distorting information, as well as ostracism – what is now labelled “othering”. What you see is not real. What we tell you is the only acceptable reality. Your enemy is over there, on the outside. You see? You’re safe in here with us. Close your eyes to the rest.
Totalitarianism – a cult by another name – depends on propaganda as well as on the self-policing of its constituents. It also – without exception – requires that these constituents act against instinctual, life-affirming values and ignore their own humanity.
Is it more damaging to belong to a dysfunctional society or to step away from it?
When political leaders and much of society are driven by pride and greed, it is even more important to clarify one’s values and live by them daily in order to stay sane and whole. Children especially need to know what is right and wrong and to sense that such values are consistent and reliable. They can’t figure that out if the adults around them don’t really know either.
Our values show up in our everyday, hidden choices, not in the grand, performative ones displayed on social media or in occasional appearances in places or worship. By sticking to what we know in our heart to be right, we avoid getting sucked into the divisive, ruinous turmoil of the world around us.
You can be a victim of your success but you can never be a victim of your happiness.
Thích Nhất Hạnh
All spiritual traditions formulated their values carefully, and there is a lot of overlap despite superficial differences. Universal spiritual values essentially boil down to: be honest, be kind, and be compassionate. Everything else is a variation of those: if we are honest, we won’t take what is not ours to take, and we won’t take more than our share; kindness and compassion lead us to treat others as we would like to be treated, and so on.
By honouring such profound values as our own – regardless of any absence of values around us – we can’t be so easily led to hate another. We choose to try to understand rather than condemn, and we remember that when we stray from our values and sense of humanity, we become susceptible to manipulation of the most insidious kind.
Our values lay the foundation of our thoughts and actions
In living this way, our bodies and minds live in good health. We feel good and it is easier to help others feel good too. Our little corner of life is better, and the ripple effects are more likely to be be positive. We live with clarity of purpose.
If you would like to strengthen your sense of values, here is some contemplative inspiration from several major traditions:
The values of Ubuntu include respect for others, helpfulness, community, sharing, caring, trust and unselfishness.
Jain values can be described under three headings for easy understanding:
- Art of Loving: love all living beings, without discrimination.
- Art of Living: live a spiritually and physically healthy life, full of compassion, equality, peace and harmony.
- Art of Leaving: live a life detached from power, position and wealth.
Christian values include love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, kindness & goodness, gentleness, self-control, humility, compassion. And here is an inspiring description of Jewish values, too long to write out entirely.
The core teachings of Mohammed (Islam) are:
- Actions are judged by the intention behind them.
- God is Pure.
- Leave aside what does not concern you.
- A person cannot be a complete believer unless he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.
- One should not harm himself or others.
- Don’t let your focus in this life be to amass worldly gain and God will love you.
Important Buddhist values were laid out in the five precepts: reverence for life; true happiness; true love; loving speech & deep listening; nourishment & healing. They were modernised and elaborated by Thích Nhất Hạnh as the Five Mindfulness Trainings.
Hindu values are centered on truth (Satya), righteous duty (Dharma), consequences of our actions (Karma), and spiritual liberation (Moksha). Sikh values are very similar, but expressed a little differently – here’s an outline.
Taoist values are laid out in the Tao Te Ching: choose to live in harmony with nature (the Tao, representing all of life). Everything else flows from this.
So although this is an incomplete list, you can see the pattern of human values emerging. Eknath Easwaran taught what he called “passage meditation” – reading uplifting texts as a meditative practice. It’s not a new idea – every tradition recommends followers to read scripture. I have found this to be especially useful as a way to ground any anxiety or anger I may be experiencing these days.
I hope you find some inspiration here, and that in reading and living through shared life-affirming values you feel the nourishing support of others from across the world and throughout the ages.
Much love as always,
Susan
