“Truth waits for the eyes unclouded by longing”.
~ Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching
These intense and stressful times can so easily throw us off balance because we so readily identify with the opinions and trends around us. Traditional teachings remind us that our thoughts and emotions are like motes of dust in a beam of light.
The same mind that feels emotional or stressed can also briefly experience itself as the witness, so we can fool ourselves into thinking we truly know who we are. Because of this craftiness we have to continue to practice using our capacity to discern truth and reality from what is a product of the mind. By examining our true nature, questioning our thoughts, beliefs and experiences we get to the root of the central issue, the ultimate question of “Who am I?”
It’s important to keep testing our peace of mind in stressful situations, so we don’t fall into the trap of believing we are fully conscious because we have realized our true nature. All of life is helpful as a teaching.
The skill of holding our attention – mindfulness – shows up in a lowered stress response and can be seen in changes to the amygdala, the part of the brain that responds to stress. So we increase our capacity to discern when there is less influence from the past or future.
“You” are not peaceful – You are the witness of the peaceful state of the mind. With practice the mind becomes more peaceful and yet we should not identify with that because the mind is always fluctuating and changing. You are the witness, and the mind is what you are witnessing.
When we become enlightened, we don’t stop using the mind
The mind just simply becomes clear, and discernment and compassion arise naturally. Although compassion arises in the mind it is rooted in our capacity to discern the real from the unreal. We feel different psychologically but we’re still able to function in the world. This is what Christ meant by being IN the world not OF it – that doesn’t mean scorning the material world, it simply means we remain aware of our true nature.
This inquiry into life has to come from our own intelligence separate from social conditioning. It takes courage to step back from the religious and social context of our birth and explore the beliefs that we hold that have been shaped by those influences. We are so often living from our past conditioning and not grounded in the mystery of the present moment. Only by exploring how this continues to influence us can we actually start to take responsibility for what happens in our life.
Here I want to define the term discernment, because it is not the same thing as in the Judeo-Christian tradition where it is used more pragmatically and is firmly rooted in the material world. For example, in a mundane sense it is a choice based on our life goals or morality but it’s not a reflection of the true nature of life.
Vedanta & Sanatana Dharma see discernment as the distinction between the real and the unreal
It is knowing that we are not our thoughts beliefs and actions rather we are the witness to all of it. Another way of describing that is pure consciousness.
Our interconnected nature and the awareness of our own suffering and that of others leads us naturally to feel compassion for ourselves and all other beings
Vivekananda likened the state of awakening to a reader turning the pages of a book one by one – the story evolves but the reader remains (apparently) the same.
Being in a state of awareness with our capacity to discern and experience compassion doesn’t mean that we feel good all the time. It’s not even necessary to feel good all the time and wanting that comes from craving and attachment which are ultimately obstacles to the enlightenment we seek!
There is no higher or lower state of mind – These are just like different flavours of awareness
Our perceptions cause most of our suffering. Our perceptions are at the level of the mind, not awareness – we are aware of what we perceive but the perception itself may be incorrect. This is where we need logic. Logic is essential to waking up – it is not that the mind itself is problematic rather it is the way we interpret our thoughts or confuse them with reality.
For example, when we look up in the sky at night, we see billions of stars and yet many of these already expired long ago, and we’re only just now perceiving the light that has traveled many light years to reach our little corner of this vast universe.
Discernment requires courage and trust in oneself. There are many times when we have a very strong intuition about something or there is a nagging inner doubt and yet we continue to pursue a path or an action that ends up indeed causing some kind of suffering because we didn’t listen to our innate capacity to do what was right in the moment.
Discernment is a Sattvic characteristic, a result of a calm and clear mind
Just like my desires have at times driven me to override my discernment, my inner guidance, many people come to the spiritual path in a fragile and vulnerable state making them susceptible to unscrupulous and manipulative teachers.
A guru rarely speaks about him- or herself except to illustrate a point and does not boast about accomplishments. Good teachers are indifferent to the number of followers or students they have. They are not predatory in any way, especially sexually or financially.
There is an image in the world today that the guru has a following and his students follow him like the Pied Piper. This is not good. The true guru shows you the way. You go your way and then you’re on your own, because you know your place and you are grateful.
~ TKV Desikachar
I can always thank my guru naturally and enjoy the relationship, but I do not have to follow him around, because then I am not in my own place. Following the guru’s destination is another way of losing yourself. The yoga concept of svadharma means “your own dharma” or “your own way”. If you try to do somebody else’s dharma, trouble happens. The guru helps you find your own dharma.
The Buddha taught that it is wrong to seek students – rather, one should teach only those people who come to them to learn. This doesn’t preclude advertising one’s offerings, but it does preclude proselytizing or manipulating people into following a particular path.
A big part of the uncertainty we are challenged to embrace is an allowance for not having things work out as we had wanted. They almost never do, actually, but we notice less when the results are still within a range of things we aspired to. If we look closely, we can see that we often project an outcome or an ideal, then get attached to it, then label it ‘reality’. But how real is this ‘reality’?
We often confuse our opinions with truth, and this, in turn, clouds our discernment and experience of reality
It also disrupts relationships with others who might not share this opinion. Anything the mind concocts is only subjectively real, and there are over 7 billion subjective realities prancing around this earth. The Truth behind the thought is the awareness of it, what could be described as pure consciousness, and this can’t be expressed in words.
We arrive at our personal truths in mysterious ways, and rarely do we question them. Yet we fiercely defend our poorly internalized beliefs when they are challenged by another worldview. Being truly mindful helps us better understand our own views and find a space for understanding the views of others, without needing to agree with them, which can lead us to a place of compassion instead of conflict.
Can some things be relativised? Perhaps. Teachers are human, and people make mistakes. Sometimes, with the best of intentions, things go wrong or don’t turn out as planned. At times, cultural differences might need to be overlooked. One of my (Indian, male) teachers in Rishikesh used to relay awkward and strange, even downright untrue ideas about women’s health, especially regarding menstruation and menopause. It’s important to understand the context, his good intentions, and the fact that as a Swami and a life-long celibate he really didn’t have a clue on that front.
Beware of the disempowering tendency to get caught up in the energy of other people’s thinking. Question more. Hold a space for uncertainty, and notice that your own opinions, evaluations and beliefs have shifted over the years (hopefully!) and will continue to morph into new ones in times to come. They represent what you think and feel now, and this will most probably change.
Upeksha is the Sanskrit word for equanimity. It’s what arises when we can accept what is happening to us, around us and within us, without resistance, blame or judgement – a pretty tall order! This is not the same as resignation, however. Resignation is disempowering. Acceptance – equanimity – is profoundly empowering. From a position of acceptance, we can take constructive actions and make better choices which move us towards something we would like to experience rather than resisting what we don’t want to experience.
Attachment to outcomes, by which I mean wanting things to go our way, leads to resistance.
When we set up our expectations of happiness and comfort according to a certain result, we are giving up our power to that external condition. Yet nothing and nobody can ever make you happy – only your inner experience of what is happening in this moment will decide how you feel, and you have unique control over that.
When we are not attached to a specific outcome, there is a lot of room for adjustment and progress. We can hold a clear vision for what we want and simultaneously allow for the outcome to appear in any form it takes! Staying flexible, adaptable – like young bamboo shoots – allows us to find a new balance quickly whenever we start to teeter. Green bamboo is resilient, and its roots are deep and constantly seeking out nourishment – it’s a wonderful metaphor for life.
Blind faith, delusion and escapism will dominate anyone who can’t rise up to a higher, more spiritual or philosophical perspective on life. Stay centered in your body and breath, which are your trustworthy references to how close to the present moment you are living – the closest we can ever get to reality in our everyday mind.
ॐ असतो मा सद्गमय ।
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय ।
मृत्योर्मा अमृतं गमय ।
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥
asato mā sadgamaya
tamasomā jyotir gamaya
mrityormāamritam gamaya
Oṁ śhānti śhānti śhāntiḥ
Lead me from the unreal to the real, lead me from darkness to light, lead me from death to immortality (learn more here).
